Beltway Bambinos

One thing every parent needs to be; more present

I came across the quote, “Life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a mother” and to be completely honest, it scared me. As parents, we are raising the next generation which means we have the power to change the world! Being my own worst critic, I immediately thought of all the ways I could have changed the world for the worse. I realize this is not a rational thought process, and knowing how hard I was on myself, looking back, I couldn’t agree more. To put this into perspective, I’ve worked my entire career as a Registered Nurse specializing in newborn and pediatric care. I was known as the “parenting expert” and “baby guru” of the office. Saying that I don’t give myself enough credit is an understatement. I still felt like I was failing as a mom. Why?  During this time, I was also raising four boys all under the age of 4. As you can imagine, days go by so fast but feel like an eternity. My days were spent cleaning Sharpie off furniture,  dusting mounds of flour off a naked toddler, and wondering if my 3-year-old was going to be the next Picasso, by the looks of this drawing on the wall.  My to-do list only got longer, and my mind was in constant overdrive. Trying to explain to a five-year-old where babies come from was the last thing I wanted to do. I knew every time I responded to my kid’s questions and concerns by nodding my head while on my phone was sending them the message that they didn’t matter. I know I’m going way back with this one, but think of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. To feel safe, you have to have your basic needs met first.  Self-esteem comes after you develop a sense of love and belonging.  I’m not saying parents need to spend every waking hour entirely present while making our kids the center of attention.  Just like most things, too much of a good thing can cause issues on the opposite end of the spectrum. Finding balance is essential, and communicating to our children when they can expect your full undivided attention is all they need. It’s an excellent opportunity to teach patience and shows them that they matter.

Fast forward five years, and a significant life change, I was able to discover my inner strength. Learning to trust myself and following my intuition brought me to a whole new level of confidence.  I began to notice that most parents felt the same way I did, except they had a lot more uncertainty. If I spent countless hours searching for ways to make life easier, I can’t imagine trying to figure out all of the unknowns that come from parenting. I began to see the need for a ‘parenting resource’ outside of the medical setting.  I started to think of all the services we utilize as a society. There are not only trainers for our animals, personal fitness, business goals, etc., but there are more people than not using those services. How is raising a human any different? Most of us remember the first time we brought our first baby home from the hospital. The feeling of, wow,  I’m responsible for him or her, and I don’t even know what to do next. Should I feed him? Should I let him sleep?  Should I lay him on my bed, keep him in the carseat, hold him? The uncertainty of raising kids creates stress, clouds the mind and takes away from us being present for our kids. Adding technology to the mix, we can google all of these things we are uncertain about no matter if you are on your couch or soccer practice.  Well, just as you can find 100 recipes for lasagna, you can find 100 ways to feed a baby. You quickly get sucked down the rabbit hole, only to come out more confused than when you started.  Have you ever received conflicting advice from 2 different pediatricians within the same practice? It happens; it’s pretty standard, and most of the time neither are right or wrong. The problem is, we now have an excess amount of information that we need to sort out, figure out what works and what doesn’t through trial and error. By the time we have finally figured it out we are exhausted and over it. No wonder it’s a struggle to practice mindfulness; being fully present is nonexistent.

So what do parents need in order to be more present?  A parenting consultant. 

When we become parents, it’s not like we are given a magic potion that provides us with all the answers. The ‘motherly intuition’ only works if we have learned to trust our intuition,  and determining the different cries, happens after we figure out why our babies are crying in the first place.

To end with the same quote, “Life doesn’t come with a manual it comes with a mother” is correct on a literal level but mothers also don’t come with a manual. Asking for help is a sign of strength, don’t let society make you think you can do it on our own. Think about what it can do for your marriage alone. Sleepless nights can cause many issues within a marriage. Stop trying to figure it out on your own. Just as you would call the expert if your heating system malfunctioned, there is no reason you can’t do the same for your parenting dilemmas.    

Being present for your child is the best “present” you will give. I would love to help every single parent become the best version of themselves. I not only have the expertise, but I also have a passion for what I do. Developing a safe space for my clients to ask anything without the fear of being judged is the first step to true freedom as a parent.

Please head over to my website, to learn about all of the ways I can make your life easier. If you have any questions about the services, or want to create a unique package catered to you and your goals, please don’t hesitate to reach out. As a thank you for being a follower of Beltway Bambinos, and for reading this post, I want to give all followers 20% off my services by using the code: BeltwayBambinos20.