Beltway Bambinos

(re) discover Washington DC through the eyes of your children

Raising Orchids: Practical Strategies for Parents of Higher Needs Children 6 Week Class

This post is written by Jen Dryer who is a mother to two children and has previously written an informative piece for Beltway Bambinos which helps parents navigate early intervention resources. She will be co-leading a class again called Raising Orchids: Practical Strategies for Parents With Higher Needs Children beginning July 8. She will lead the class along-side speech therapist, Gabriele Nicolet in addition to some guest speakers.

As my mother always said, parenting is not for the faint of heart, nor the short of patience. Parenting a higher needs child, those children with developmental differences, learning and/or behavioral challenges, special needs and/or all the anxiety that often co-presents with other issues, can take those “regular” challenges up to a whole new level, especially in the era of Coronavirus! Besides all the usual challenges, like bedtimes, schedules, potty training, discipline, tantrums, homework, and school, to name a few, parents of “neurodiverse” children (those whose brains are wired differently than those who are typically developing) have a whole other list of concerns: Why is my child so sensitive and hard to parent? What can I do to change challenging behaviors? What therapies does my child need? How do I take care of myself and my other family members when my needy child takes up so much time and energy? How do I nurture my child and understand their differences, while also pushing them to be their best selves? How can I manage being in charge of their learning and development at home in this social distancing situation?

As the parent of a rising third grader with autism and ADHD and a rising fifth grader with ADHD, I know firsthand how hard it is and how much energy it can take just to get simple things done. The tremendously helpful strategies that my family has found and developed are an amalgam of ideas and structures I’ve gathered from myriad sources, including, most importantly, many of my younger son’s many incredible therapists. In order to share these practical strategies that have greatly improved my family’s quality of life and my sons’ feelings of confidence and competence, I teamed up with Gabriele Nicolet, a long-time Speech and Language Pathologist/Family Communication Specialist and owner and founder of SpeechKids Therapy, to help other parents address the questions listed above and generate practical solutions tailored to their family’s and child(ren)’s needs.

We’re offering a 6-session online class, called “Raising Orchids: Practical Strategies for Parents of Higher Needs Children,” on Wednesday evenings from 8:30-9:30pm on Zoom, starting Wednesday, July 8. Participants will work together with other parents of children aged 3-12, and with Gabriele and me, to create practical solutions to everyday challenges that arise when raising high needs children, and to the particular challenges of this new normal. The goal is for participants to come away from the class with concrete ideas and strategies adapted to their own child’s profile that they will plan and try out, in order to make their life easier and to help their child increase their confidence and competence in daily tasks, which will reduce anxiety and help them experience success at home and beyond. The other side bonus, of course, is finding community with a group of parents who have similar challenges and a place to share ideas and resources.

For more information, contact Jen or to register, click here.

Here’s what recent participants had to say about Raising Orchids:

“I want to thank you both for the Raising Orchids class. I found the class to be extremely helpful. One of the things I have found most difficult about having an orchid child is feeling like I am alone in my journey. Sure, there are teachers and therapists who provide support, but even though I know it is not the case, when I look around, it seems like other families have it so easy. The opportunity to meet and hear from other parents of orchid children was really valuable. 

I am happy to hear you are planning to offer the class again. I would definitely recommend it to other parents. Both of you offered such great feedback and helped everyone think through things. 

I really appreciate all the support you both provided!” – Rachel S.

“Thanks again for this class. I felt truly heard and supported through this caring and thoughtful group. I was choked up at the end of last night’s session as I realized I’ll be on my own again!

I think it’s hard to address the challenges of parents with kids of very different ages, and facing so many different physical, emotional, and developmental challenges. You guys did a great job of giving everyone a chance to be heard and facilitate some personalized problem solving from your various professional perches. 

This group was perfect for me in that the leaders had such diverse professional frameworks, the participants were so supportive, and it was convenient, affordable, and small enough to feel comfortable.” – Amy H.

Raising Orchids: Practical Strategies for Parents of Children with Learning Differences and Special Needs; 6 Week Class

This post is written by Jen Dryer who is a mother to two children and has written an informative piece for Beltway Bambinos which helps parents navigate early intervention resources. She will be co-leading a class called Raising Orchids: Practical Strategies for Parents of Children with Learning Differences and Special Needs beginning Sunday. She will lead the class along-side speech therapist, Gabriele Nicolet in addition to some guest speakers.

As my mother always said, parenting is not for the faint of heart, nor the short of patience. Parenting a high needs child, those children with developmental differences, learning challenges, special needs and/or all the anxiety that often co-presents with other issues, can take those “regular” challenges up to a whole new level. Besides all the usual challenges, like bedtimes, schedules, potty training, discipline, tantrums, homework, and school, to name a few, parents of “neurodiverse” children (those whose brains are wired differently than those who are typically developing) have a whole other list of concerns: Why is my child so sensitive and hard to parent? What can I do to change challenging behaviors? What therapies does my child need? How do I take care of myself and my other family members when my needy child takes up so much time and energy? How do I nurture my child and understand their differences, while also pushing them to be their best selves?

As the parent of an autistic second grader and a fourth grader with ADHD, I know firsthand how hard it is and how much energy it can take just to get simple things done. The strategies my family has found that have helped us tremendously are an amalgam of ideas and structures I’ve gathered from myriad sources, including, most importantly, many of Max’s many incredible therapists. In order to share these practical strategies that have greatly improved my family’s quality of life and my sons’ feelings of confidence and competence, I teamed up with Gabriele Nicolet, a long-time Speech and Language Pathologist and owner and founder of SpeechKids Therapy, to help other parents address the questions listed above and generate practical solutions tailored to their family’s and child(ren)’s needs.

We’re offering a 6-session class, called “Raising Orchids: Practical Strategies for Parents of High Needs Children,” on Sunday evenings from 7-8:30pm in NWDC, near American University, starting Sunday, March 1. Participants will work together with other parents of children aged 3-12, and with Gabriele and me, along with a fantastic and highly experienced behavioral therapist, Maria Stangherlin, who will co-lead two of the sessions, and special needs parent coach, Magüi Moreno, who will co-lead one of the classes, to create practical solutions to everyday challenges that arise when raising high needs children. The goal is for participants to come away from the class with concrete ideas and strategies adapted to their own child’s profile that they will plan and try out, in order to make their life easier and to help their child increase their confidence and competence in daily tasks, which will reduce anxiety and help them experience success at home and beyond. The other side bonus, of course, is finding community with a group of parents who have similar challenges and a place to share ideas and resources.

For more information or to register, contact Jen here.

Navigating early intervention resources in Washington, DC

This guest post is a touching story with helpful resources for parents brought to you by Jen Dryer; a mother to two sweet and energetic boys, who is also an educational consultant and parent advocate, supporting educators and parents of young children with developmental issues. She works to support families with children aged 0-12; birth through elementary school who have any developmental delays, learning differences or special needs in navigating the process, both logistically and emotionally, of getting their children the support services they need, whether early intervention, or school-based support. She also leads workshops for preschool educators to help better support families whose children would benefit from early intervention. Prior to her work as a parent advocate, Jen was a teacher and literacy staff developer for 13 years in NYC public schools, and 5 years in DC area public, charter and private schools, and is currently a yoga teacher for kids and adults.

My younger son, Max, never crawled. Instead, he scooted. Quite effectively, I must say. But I never crawled either, so I just assumed he had the “tushy around” gene, and he seemed like a pretty typical child otherwise, as far as we could tell. Then some time after he turned 1, we noticed him staring up at the light fixtures with an odd expression on his face. Then, we noticed he lost the few words he had and some of the gestures, like waving, as well. Had it not been for my older son being an early talker, we would probably not have done anything and just waited, desperately hoping he would come around. Instead, we reached out for help and took action, getting Max a free evaluation and, when he qualified, free services to support his development. Tapping into the fantastic range of Early Intervention (EI) services in DC for Max was by far the best parenting move I have ever made, despite the many emotional and logistical hurdles I’ve had to surmount.

I share this story about Max, because it brings to light the incredible power of Early Intervention and provides a window into the incredible free resources available for children with developmental delays in DC, MD and VA (these are available in all states in some iteration). Mostly, I hope our story can provide insight and inform parents, and inspire and spur parents to action, if appropriate.

Whenever I shared my concerns about Max, nearly everyone gave me seemingly reasonable excuses: he’s a second child, so I anticipate his needs more (eliminating his need to communicate); his brother was probably speaking for him all the time (not really, but okay…); he’s a boy and they usually talk later; they all do everything in their own time – just look at Einstein, he didn’t talk until he was 4. Of course, many people now believe Einstein may have been on the Spectrum. Even my pediatrician, whom I hold in high regard, dismissed my concerns, suggesting we just wait and see how he does between then and his next appointment.

We were lucky to have an experienced advisor in the family – my husband’s aunt Carol is an experienced Early Intervention specialist in Pennsylvania. We reached out to her, and she urged us to get him evaluated as soon as possible. We had his hearing tested first, desperately hoping all he needed were ear tubes, since he had had a few ear infections.

Carol came to DC to sit alongside me for the audiology exam, explaining everything, which was remarkably helpful and comforting. When his hearing was deemed normal, she advised me right then and there to have the audiologist write us a referral to get him evaluated by DC’s EI program, Strong Start. Being entirely clueless about what that all meant, but so grateful to have someone who knew what they were doing walk me through this process, I followed her advice. With the referral completed, we set the ball in motion, as it is all legally time bound from there. Strong Start had 45 days to complete the evaluation and meet with us to review the results.

I am forever grateful to Carol, as she opened our eyes to incredible wealth of resources available to young children with developmental delays. Each state has a differently named early intervention program and structure, but all states are mandated to provide free services—therapies and supports provided by early intervention professionals—to all children who qualify. The bar to qualify varies from state to state.

In DC, the EI program for 0-3 year olds is called Strong Start. For children from roughly 3-6 (officially, 2 years 8 months to 5 years 10 months), the program in DC is called Early Stages, which is based in DC Public Schools. Whether the child qualifies for free services or not, the evaluation is free! If the child is under 2 years 8 months, the evaluation will take place at your home or child care center. If they are in the older group, the evaluation is at Early Stages’ offices, housed in the Walker Jones Education Campus, a public school on New Jersey Avenue, NW. Anyone can write a referral for a child to get an evaluation, as long as it’s signed by the parent. It can be submitted by the parents themselves, rather than relying on a medical professional.

Soon after we submitted Max’s referral form to Strong Start, he was evaluated at our home, and a few weeks later, we had the formal meeting to discuss the results. Carol previewed for us what what would happen in the meeting, and gave us her recommendations for the services he should receive. When we met, the therapists informed us that Max was 50% behind in 2 of the 4 different areas they assess, and 20% in another. In order to qualify for free services in DC at that time, the child had to be 50% behind in one area or 25% behind in two. The law changed in 2018 and the bar has been thankfully lowered to 25% in one area, so more children will get access to critical free services. As we like to say, Max was overqualified—obviously, an overachiever! As much as I joke about it now from this vantage point, as a parent, you can probably imagine that all of this was a devastatingly emotional experience for my husband and me.

They also mentioned that, although they did not diagnose at that age (now they often do), he displayed symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder. When they dropped  the “A-bomb,” I felt my heart drop into my stomach and a wave of nausea overtake me. It took me months to come to a place of acceptance and to make peace with it.

He started speech therapy and developmental therapy within a few weeks, and we added on occupational therapy a few months later, and his progress was tremendous. At his re-evaluation one year later, he went from 50% behind in language to 10% behind, which is average range, and didn’t even officially qualify for continued free services, since he was not 25% behind in even a single domain — from 50% behind in 2! Luckily, the evaluators saw both the progress he was making and that he needed continued therapy, so they gave him a clinical override to continue free services. It was the best of both worlds: significant progress and continued free services!

Shortly after that, he started another therapy called ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis), which was also tremendously helpful for him. Including the ABA hours, he ended up getting 11-12 hours of free therapy each week, and an important platform through Strong Start in which all the therapists could share notes and work collaboratively. The therapists worked with him at school and at home, and thanks to EI, he was able to lift his speech and communication to roughly typical levels, and even began to finally notice, play with and communicate authentically with peers by age 4.

While we know that Max will always be on the Autism Spectrum, and will almost certainly be a quirky guy for the rest of his life, it is patently clear that EI has dramatically improved the trajectory of his life. I know that my ability to let go of the fierce call to bury my head in the sand has resulted in a real possibility that he will be able to close much of the gap with his “neurotypical” peers. I’m confident that he will be able to have real friendships, and become a productive member of society.

Max is now 7 and in second grade, and is blossoming. He is a happy, loving child who greatly enjoys connecting with others, both adults and peers. I opted to enroll him in a private school focused on children with special needs for his first few years of elementary school to build up the social and self-regulation skills he needs to function successfully alongside neurotypical peers, with a plan to find him a “mainstream” classroom in the near future, so that he can learn alongside typically developing children. Many of his differences have become more subtle, while others have now emerged, as he moves through elementary school and social norms and peer relationships shift. Still, people are often surprised when I tell them he is Autistic.

We were incredibly lucky to have had support from Carol, but make no mistake, I have done an incredible amount of work, research and active advocating for him, which is an ongoing process. We feel incredibly lucky to have found these resources and to have had this help for Max.

From this place of gratitude, I am deeply committed to helping other parents whose children have developmental delays navigate this complicated and emotional process. I know how hard it is to break out of the space of denial and to resist that temptation to just wait and wish it all away when we see signs of delays in our children’s development. However, getting evaluated and getting services early, especially before age 3 while the brain is most malleable, is truly critical. According to the US Department of Education, 80% of children’s brains are developed by age 3 and 90% by age 5, so getting support as early as possible, while a child’s brain is most malleable, is critical. We need to trust our gut and our instincts as parents when we see something that seems amiss in our children, and take action as early as possible. The state or county evaluation is free, and really, no one wins by waiting.

Helpful resources:
MD’s Infants and Toddlers Program
Infant & Toddlers Connection of Virginia 
Support for students with learning differences and special needs in DCPS 
Support for students with learning differences and special needs in MCPS 
Support for students with learning differences and special needs in Arlington County PS 
Support for students with learning differences and special needs in Alexandria County PS 
Strong Start DC Early Intervention Program (DC EIP) 
Early Stages

How to tap into early intervention resources in Washington DC

This guest post is a touching story with helpful resources for parents brought to you by Jen Dryer, a mother to two sweet and energetic boys, who is also an educational consultant and parent advocate for parents of young children with developmental issues. She works to support families with children aged 0-12 (birth through elementary school) who have any developmental delays, learning differences or special needs in navigating the process, both logistically and emotionally, of getting their children the support services they need, whether early intervention, or school-based support. Prior to her work as a parent advocate, Jen was a teacher and literacy staff developer for 13 years in NYC public schools, and 5 years in DC area public, charter and private schools, and is currently a yoga teacher for kids and adults.

My younger son, Max, never crawled. Instead, he scooted. Quite effectively, I must say. But I never crawled either, so I just assumed he had the “tushy around” gene, and he seemed like a pretty typical child otherwise, as far as we could tell. Then some time after he turned 1, we noticed him staring up at the light fixtures with an odd expression on his face. Soon after, between 14-15 months, we noticed he lost the few words he had and some of the gestures as well. Had it not been for my older son being an early talker, we would probably not have done anything and just waited, desperately hoping he would come around. Instead, we reached out for help and took action, getting Max a free evaluation and, when he qualified, free services to support his development. Tapping into the fantastic range of Early Intervention (EI) services in DC for Max was by far the best parenting move I have ever made, despite the many emotional and logistical hurdles I’ve had to surmount.

I share this story about Max, because it brings to light the incredible power of Early Intervention and provides a window into the incredible free resources available for children with developmental delays in DC in particular (these are available in all states in some iteration). But mostly, I hope our story can provide insight and inform parents, and inspire and spur parents to action, if appropriate.

Whenever I shared my concerns about Max, nearly everyone gave me seemingly reasonable excuses: he’s a second child, so I anticipate his needs more (eliminating his need to communicate); his brother was probably speaking for him all the time (not really, in our case); he’s a boy and they usually talk later; they all do everything in their own time – just look at Einstein, he didn’t talk until he was 4. Not for nothing, many people now believe Einstein may have had Autism… Even my pediatrician, whom I hold in high regard, dismissed my concerns, suggesting we just wait and see how he does between then and his next appointment.

We were lucky to have an experienced advisor in the family – my husband’s aunt Carol is an experienced EI specialist in Pennsylvania. We reached out to her, and she urged us to get him evaluated as soon as possible. We had his hearing tested first, desperately hoping all he needed were ear tubes, since he had had a couple of ear infections.

Carol came to DC to sit alongside me for the audiology exam, explaining everything, which was remarkably helpful and comforting. When his hearing was deemed normal, she advised me right then and there to have the audiologist write us a referral to get him evaluated by DC’s EI program, Strong Start. Being entirely clueless about what that all meant, but so grateful to have someone who knew what they were doing walk me through this process, I followed her advice. With the referral completed, we set the ball in motion, as it is all legally time bound from there. Strong Start had 45 days to complete the evaluation and meet with us to review the results.

I am forever grateful to Carol, as she opened our eyes to incredible wealth of resources available to young children with developmental delays. Each state has a differently named early intervention program and structure, but all states are mandated to provide free services, meaning therapies and supports provided by professionals, to all children who qualify. The bar to qualify varies from state to state.

In DC, the EI program for 0-3 year olds is called Strong Start. For children from roughly 3-6 (officially, 2 years 8 months to 5 years 10 months), the program in DC is called Early Stages, which is based in DC Public Schools. Whether the child qualifies for free services or not, the evaluation is free! If the child is under 2 years 8 months, the evaluation will take place at your home or child care center. If they are in the older group, the evaluation is at Early Stages’ offices, housed in the Walker Jones Education Campus, a public school on New Jersey Avenue, NW. Anyone can write a referral for a child to get an evaluation, as long as it’s signed by the parent. It can be submitted by the parents themselves, rather than relying on a medical professional.

Soon after we submitted Max’s referral form to Strong Start, he was evaluated at our home, and a few weeks later, we had the formal meeting to discuss the results. Carol previewed for us what what would happen in the meeting, and gave us her recommendations for the services he should receive. When we met, the therapists informed us that Max was 50% behind in 2 of the 4 different areas they examine, and 20% in another. In order to qualify for free services in DC, you need to be 50% behind in one domain or 25% behind in two. So, as we like to say, he was way overqualified, overachiever that he is! As much as I can joke about it now from my current vantage point, as a parent, you can probably imagine that all of this was a devastatingly emotional experience for both my husband and me.

They also mentioned then, that although they did not diagnose at that age (now they often do), he displayed symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder. When they dropped  the “A-bomb,” I felt my heart drop into my stomach and a wave of nausea overtake me. It took me months to come to a place of acceptance and to make peace with it.

He started speech and developmental therapy within a few weeks, and we added on occupational therapy a few months later, and his progress was tremendous. At his re-evaluation one year later, he went from 50% behind in language to average range (10% behind), and didn’t even officially qualify for continued free services, since he was not 25% behind in even a single domain — from 50% behind in 2! Luckily, the evaluators saw the progress he was making and that he needed continued therapy, so they gave him a clinical override to continue free services. It was the best of both worlds: significant progress and continued free services!

We started another therapy called ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) shortly after his 2nd evaluation, and it has been tremendously helpful for him. Including the ABA hours, he ended up getting 11-12 hours of free therapy each week, and a fantastic platform through Strong Start in which all the therapists could share notes and work collaboratively. The therapists worked with him at school and at home, and thanks to EI, he was able to lift his speech and communication to roughly typical levels, and even began to finally pay attention to, play with and communicate authentically with peers. For a 4-year old Autistic child, that is pretty awesome.

He may always have special needs, and will likely be a quirky guy for the rest of his life, but it is patently clear that EI has dramatically improved the trajectory of his life, and that my ability to let go of the fierce call to bury my head in the sand has resulted in a real possibility that he will be able to close the gap with his “neurotypical” peers. He will likely be able to have real friendships, and will, without doubt, become a productive member of society.

Max is now 6 and in first grade. While I’ve opted to enroll him in a private school focused on children with high functioning special needs for his first few years of elementary school to build up the social skills he needs, he will undoubtedly be “mainstreamed” in a classroom alongside typically developing children in the coming years. Many of his differences have gone from significant to subtle. People are usually surprised when I tell them he is Autistic. We have been incredibly lucky to have had support from Carol, but make no mistake, I have done an incredible amount of work, research and active advocating for him, which is an ongoing process. We feel incredibly lucky to have found these resources and to have had this help for Max.

From this place of gratitude, I am deeply committed to helping other parents whose children have developmental delays navigate this complicated and emotional process. I know how hard it is to break out of the space of denial and to resist that temptation to just wait and wish it all away when we see signs of delays in our children’s development. However, getting evaluated and getting services early, especially before age 3 while the brain is most malleable, is truly critical. According to the US Department of Education, 80% of children’s brains are developed by age 3 and 90% by age 5, so the earlier they get the support they need, the better. We need to trust our gut and our instincts as parents when we see something that seems amiss in our children, and take action as early as possible. The evaluation is free, and really, no one wins by waiting.

Helpful resources:

Tapping into the (often free!) Resources in Washington, DC for Early Intervention: Max’s Inspiring Story

This guest post is a touching story with helpful resources for parents brought to you by Jen Dryer, a mother to two sweet and energetic boys, is a parent advocate for parents of young children with developmental issues. She works to support families with children aged 0-5 who have any developmental delays navigate the process, both logistically and emotionally, of getting their children the early intervention services they need. Prior to her work as a parent advocate, Jen was a teacher and literacy staff developer for 13 years in NYC public schools, and 5 years in DC area public, charter and private schools, and is currently a yoga teacher for kids and adults.

Jen Dryer
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